Having slept in and listened to Radio Jambo’s ‘Patanisho‘, I think there are a few things this generation needs to unlearn when it comes to marriage if we are to remain responsible and authoritative as mentors. For example:
1. Children born out of wedlock are not an excuse for marriage. If a cat sired with a dog, marriage would not bridge the differences in personal convictions in life. And if they moved in together, they would bring up a broken animal that doesn’t know how to be a cat or a dog. It would be confused and broken.
2. There’s no short cut to marriage. There’s a reason why there are rites preceding marriage. If someone is not willing to go the long route, then chances are you also are a shortcut. The long tedious route separates the wheat from the chaff. You don’t want to keep walking in the short cut, then hit a dead end and have to re-direct yourselves back to the starting point 30years later in search of solutions after having been pinned down.I’d also hate it if my children would be the one to go pay my dowry or slaughter cows or goats at my parent’s in a bid to make things straight. Sometimes it becomes difficult to mantain/exert your authority as a parent if your children are the one’s clearing your mess and rectifying your mistakes/oversight. Authority is solidified by responsibility.Date, court, pay dowry marry, sire. Not Sire, marry, and pay dowry or worse case scenario have your kids pay dowry for you. Procedure is key.
3. A man is how he treats his mother and sisters. A woman is how she treats her parents and siblings. He doesn’t disrespect his mother or lack any regard for his sisters because they are horrible, it’s just his character. And character cannot be developed or sustained by an educated and hot, bankable, light body. It’s only a matter of time before you become like his mother and sisters with your body and education.
4.Lust doesn’t die after marriage. Some demons are for confronting not pacifying. If the foundation for your marriage is the physique, pray for blindness literally because it’s only a matter of time before you get bored and another exciting physique strolls by.
Author: Wambui ga’ Kimotho